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[31 Mar 2004|06:04pm] |
I wonder why I didn't turn blue? Or maybe that is why everyone ran away from it. Because they slowly saw me dying... and knew the only person who could save myself with just one breath was me.
It's odd to think in 43 days, it was the first time I ever heard your voice.
But I'm so glad that you were here. Even if it was only a quick visit.
Why am I glad? Because it made me appreciate what it feels like to breathe.
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[06 Mar 2004|01:46pm] |
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Does it ever chill your spine when you realize that when we are asleep our minds become so vulnerable? We can create faces we've never seen. We can feel feelings we've never felt. We can touch things that are thousands of
m i l e s away.
Every night I see a new face. And wonder, how did I create their image?
XOXO
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[24 Feb 2004|07:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
Sometimes I wonder what I'm looking at when I look at others, but whenever I look at you, I see a friend.
Sitting there, taking a break from it all, we looked out at the water, and talked about memories. And it was then I realized. I felt like grown ups looking back.
But sometimes I feel like we're stuck with children in endless hours of elementary recess. Chasing games and ridiculous secrets whispered in each others ears...all causing tears and runny noses just to be wiped away by a cold hand. What does it mean when we're but sixteen, yet already growing old and tired? Does it mean it's too late to swing on swings and cry over scraped knees? Does it mean we passed the days of juice boxes and lettered sandwiches? Who said that when letters on napkins were thrown out, who said that when notebook paper <3<3love<3<3 notes grew childish, that we still could not want them anyways?
To look back every once in a while, with you by my side.. should become as constant as the snips of safety scissors. Because sometimes I forget.I forget what it's like to be older than the day before.
XOXO
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[21 Feb 2004|12:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 groggy |
] |
Last night.. as I drove over the hill and out of the fog, it reminded me of this week. When I reached the top, the stars were the most beautiful shimmering inspiration I have ever received. I seriously gasped for a breath of fresh air, and found myself smiling lighter than I have in a long time.
And it was then I realized, the heavy smiles, and c-rook-ed comments were all just a quickly passing phase.
And I also realized, it's okay for me to miss you. Although we're nothing too special yet, it's REALLY nice to have you around.
XOXO
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[18 Feb 2004|04:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
Today I sat back in my floral chair with my orange juice in hand, and breathed in my life. As I exhaled I saw chalk suicide circles change into smiley faces, and a city of blue.
XOXO
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[18 Feb 2004|10:52am] |
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You couldn't have made me feel any less happier today. But yet, you made me feel so comfortable.
Hug me tighter, because your grip seems to be getting l o o s e..
XOXO
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| For the record... |
[17 Feb 2004|07:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 exhausted |
] |
With each breath, a mile more is made between my head and my body.
I am so
d i
z
z Y.
If I am not there in the morning, I'm sure you won't worry.
XOXO
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| romanctic fantiscisms |
[17 Feb 2004|06:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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horny |
] |
I just want to curl up in bed, and if I feel so inclined to wake up....You better be breathing steadily at my side!
(But the question in my head, repeating as steady as the beating of my heart is..? Does he still want me ?)
XOXO
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| Something else |
[17 Feb 2004|05:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nauseated |
] |
So maybe I'll find dead roses on my door step. And they will remind me of the memories and loves that are now burried in a b-o-x behind my pillow. Where I rest my head at night, and imagine when things weren't this complicated. When everything didn't go flying by like semi trucks on I-5.
I have driven 1-5 so many times. But it each exit always remind me of something w.o.r.n. out.
If it all makes you dizzy, these might explain: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8) exohhexohh (present tense) cardboardvsfire ( past tense) weirdlacey (just makes me tense)
XOXO
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